Wednesday, July 14, 2010

10 Pharast, AR 4710

We've had a busy last few days, but I'll try to remember everything that happened. I need to make sure to write more frequently, says Uncle Colden, or else some of his deeds might go forgotten. I think he meant my deeds, but he definitely talks about himself a lot.

Five days ago, we returned to Oleg's to resupply ourselves, and lighten the load from the few things of value we'd found. The guards that he had sent for finally arrived, led by a man named Kesten, who was quiet and seemed a bit dreary. He and three others are to serve as guards at the post, which is a welcome relief for us so we can focus on hunting down the thiefs and not worry as much about the outpost.

We then set back out almost as soon as we were done with business, going as far south as the edge of the forests there, before heading west and circling back to Oleg's. The day after our departure, when we reached the northern part of the forests, we encountered a group of kobolds! I was forced to stay in the cart while the others tried to defend them, because I wanted to pay them back for poor cousin Jiddlewhip, who was nearly killed when he stumbled into a pit trap lined with spikes that some kobolds had built. The sneaky buggers just aren't worth having as friends!

Of course, the stupid kobolds attacked almost immediately, proving me right. We killed one, and Uncle Colden hypnotized the other two with his magic, so we could tie them up and ask questions. I didn't really pay attention to what they said, but the stupid big people decided to let them go without even asking me. Now we're supposed to HELP the kobolds in some war they've got going with a bunch of mites. Both groups are pests, I say let them keep each other busy with their war and then wipe them both out. Ugh.

Anyway, I guess it's time for me to write about something that's been happening since we set out. A bunch of faeries, or nymphs, or other fey of some sort have been playing tricks on us. I thought they were pretty funny myself, especially how mad Kimber gets when they focus on him. Even Bee got pretty upset when the fey took a ring right off her finger and never gave it back. But Uncle Colden says that they are a nuisance and eventually we'll have to rid ourselves of them, if we want to be profitable. I certainly wouldn't mind learning a trick or two from them, but I'm going to keep my mouth shut about that.

Anyway, we were travelling a few days ago and the fey started playing pranks, when Kimber managed to spot the nests of some faerie dragons up in the trees. Of course, he hates all sorts of faeries, so he climbed up to hack them down, but when the branch was almost chopped through, the nest floated up and off to another tree! He called out, "Blasted faerie fools, you may run but I'll keep going after you until there are no more branches to nest on, unless you leave this area for ever!"

With that, the nests floated off, but I'm sure they'll be back. At least now I know exactly how much the fey irritate him. Every good trickster must no how far he can push his targets, after all.

The only other notable thing that happened is that we found a bunch of bear traps in one area. Not sure why, but we didn't see any bears. We went ahead and took them, but I don't think they're worth much. "That's no the point, the point is that they're there to be taken!" said Uncle Colden. "Think of it like a prank, my boy, and you'll be on your way to success," he says. I just listen to his advice, he's much smarter and wiser than I am, after all.

We're back at Olegs now, and we've only just met the newest arrival. His names' Jhod Kavken, and he's a cleric of Erastil. Erastil is about as far from a fun god as you can get, all he wants is to stay put, get married, and not do anything exciting. Jhod seems nice enough, though, so I'll wait to see how much I like him.

4 Pharast, AR 4710

More boring grasslands, but at least we're almost done exploring this area. Today we found a small patch of trees and bushes, which was littered with bones. All of the others were scared by the sight of the bones, so I ended up being the one who marched bravely forward to see if there was anything interesting to be found here.

A MASSIVE spider jumped out from it's covered tunnel and took a chunk out of my arm! The thing was bigger than I am, must have weighed over 100 pounds, with nasty, vemon-drenched fangs, 100s of tiny black eyes, and covered in dense, black hair.

Most of the others probably would have fainted from fear, pain, or blood loss. Truth be told, I kind of locked up, the world started spinning...but instinctively, re-actively I spoke the words and paralyzed it with an especially potent Coinfoot Colour Blaste. While Ha'brar mended my wound, Bee skewered the thing (rendered helpless, of course, by my spell) right through! I guess we've got a use for her after all....

Monday, July 12, 2010

2 Pharast, AR 4710

Just a quick entry today, we did a bunch of exploring. Grass, rocks, the occasional bush or tree, and more grass. A couple hours before we stopped for the day, we met up with one of the other locals, a crazy alchemist called Bokken. He wanted us to get something called Fangberries, a basket full in fact. I think he's accidentally inhaled to many fumes from his projects, but he seems nice enough, and he had a good stock of potions and such. He'll be useful to have as an ally, as the salves and liquids he can concoct will surely help a hero-in-the-making such as myself.

1 Pharast, AR 4710

We're about to leave Olegs, to go scout out the area surrounding the outpost. It doesn't sound very heroic, but I suppose it's the best way to seek out the bandits, monsters, orcs, and goblins that are surely out there waiting for us to slay them.

The two bandits that we questioned weren't very helpful, but we did at least find out approximately where their base was. We also found out that most of them are mercenaries who don't really hold allegiance to their leader, which means they might make good cheap labor if we capture them, says Colden.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

1 Pharast, AR 4710

The thieves didn't stand a chance! We've got two of them still alive, Uncle Colden, Bee, and Kimber are discussing how to interrogate them right now while they're passed out, so I've only got time for a real quick entry. The bandits showed up an hour after dawn, like Oleg said they would, and there were only four of them. We hid until they were all in the middle of the outpost, and sprung the trap.

I got one of them right in the chest with a crossbow bolt, and called the leader a "bugbear-brained Nymph chaser" which would have worked, except the stupid Elf stood up too early and drew their attention. One of them managed to hit me hard with a bolt, but tough as I am I kept on fighting. We closed in on them and I knocked one of them clean out with a Color Spray so Bee could behead him. They managed to hurt Oleg pretty good, but we defeated them regardless and the Elf used Abadar's blessings to heal our wounds almost instantly.

Oh, looks like they've got one of the bandits' heads in a sack and they're tying him up. I can't miss out on this!

Day of the Vernal Equinox, AR 4710

Today SHOULD have been a day of celebration, relaxation, and festivities. Back in Redwall, it would have been, anyway. Instead, we walked. Walk walk walk walk walk, it's all adventuring heroes seem to do. We finally got to where we are going at least, but I'd be gladder if it wasn't such a depressing place.

Oleg is the name of the human that runs the outpost, and he is even more dour than the female human we've been traveling with. I'd suggest they get married, except Oleg already has a wife, with some weird name, Svetlana I think. Oleg is like a grumpy, crazy old man, except he isn't all that old or crazy, which I've always assumed was the reason that crazy old men were grumpy. I guess the reason for THAT is because of the thieves that have been harassing him. Turns out we showed up just in the nick of time, because they come on the first of every month to take his money and trading goods.

Because they're so predictable, we're going to lay a trap. Yours truly is going to lure them into a small gap between buildings with a well-placed insult and a even more well-placed crossbow bolt. Once they get in, I'll bedazzle them out of their senses, and then the human woman (found out her name was Bee by the way) can take care of the messy work. Only way I could imagine it going wrong is if Bee isn't up to the challenge, so we'll see just how big and strong she is tomorrow.

In the mean time, I get to eat a good meal for the first time since we left! Svetlana is an alright cook and made us all dinner. We've got rooms to sleep in, too, but I suspect I won't need one for long. Once I've defeated some bandit kings, and maybe stolen the treasure from a tribe of Kobolds or two, I'll have my own mansion built to sleep in.

Tomorrow's my first real day of adventure (since I don't count ALL THE WALKING) so I'd better rest up. Ooooh, I can't wait!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

28 Calistril, AR 4710

I wonder why none of the great hero stories told of the remarkable amount of WALKING the hero has to do when setting out. It's so boring! And up until after lunch time today, it was just Uncle Colden and I, nobody to play tricks on. He sure likes to talk about gold, but it gets a little bit boring after a while. All his pranks and tricks seem to involve it, and he says I should do the same, so I guess it must be pretty nice to have.

Anyway, earlier we met up with a big group of people, must have been twenty or more, all sorts of types. There were wizards in robes and funny hats, Dwarves wearing so much armor you couldn't see anything but their face, barbarians, and more. All of them were here for the same reason we are, and we all got split up into groups and given our own areas to clear and claim.

The rest of our group seems...alright. We've got an Elf that isn't like any Elf I've ever met; he speaks and moves more rigidly, with none of the glee and beauty I know from the few Elves I've met before. He calls himself a Priest of Abadar, who sounds like a completely dull god if you ask me. Maybe a few pranks will lighten his mood? I think his name was Ka'tar, or Ha'trar, or something like that. I had a hard time listening to him drone on and on about the good it'll do to tame these 'wild lands' and bring real civilization to them. WHO CARES?!

Then there was a human female who carried around a big axe-looking thing. Couldn't get much out of her, when I tried to ask her name, she just said, "Shove off, lawn ornament." I don't think she likes me, and she looks mean, so I'm going to avoid her. Uncle Colden says she'll make a fine worker when it's time for us to gather slaves to build his castle, but I know he's kidding; he's too nice a guy to take a slave.

Lastly, there was an Orc looking guy who had a pet panther! I didn't get the kittys name but he calls himself Kimber. He seems suspicious, but he knew the way and he even hunted down a small deer for us to eat for supper tonight. When I used some magic to tug on his ear and make it sound like somebody was whispering in it at the same time, he practically jumped out of his armor and screamed, "DAMNED DIRTY FEY!" at the top of his lungs, it was SO FUNNY! I think he's going to be my favorite to play jokes on, and I think the panther cub likes me too.

Well, I'm starting to get a headache from writing by my Light spell, so I'm going to turn in for the night. We're supposed to arrive at the trading outpost that will serve as a base in three days, on the Vernal Equinox at that! The Equinox means only 39 days until my birthday, but it's only my 43rd, so it's not a very big deal. Goodnight.